Artichokes
by Nny11
Summary: Victor faces he meanest, biggest enemy yet. And while at the dinner table at that!


AN: So this was based on an original story board where Victor had told Paul the Head Waiter that he was well...you find out. Please review, I need reviews to live!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Actually, I made Johnson and Mary up, so I own them. Mary is their maid; Johnson is their carriage driver and handy man. And I own the doctor…so I own a bit, but not all of it. I make no money from this either!

Victor tapped his fingers lightly on the table in anticipation, his first meal cooked by Victoria! Leaning back Victor tried to see what it was she was making from his seat at the "servants table". While Victor and Victoria did indeed have a few people who worked for them, the two had trouble separating themselves from them. Most meals were eaten at the smaller round table with their hired help, it just seemed the right thing to do. As several delicious smells wafted gently to his nose Victor sprung forward as Victoria came into the room.

"Well, it's a bit of a finger food, but I think they are quiet delicious! I think we can forgo one course with utensils," Victoria finished this by proudly putting down a plate of five, large-

"Artichokes?" Victor felt his smile freeze in place. Now what? "Well," he began the best acting of his life, "this does look just wonderful I can not wait to have a bite!"

"I'm glad you're so happy. I was a bit worried you didn't eat a thing!" Hildegard chuckled as Victor's head snapped up to look at her.

"Oh no, I'm a healthy eater. My mum just can't-well…I'm a healthy eater." Victor tried to smile at all of their hired hands.

"Yeah, tha's why youz so skinny eh?" Johnson asked waving a fork in the air.

"I'm not skinny! I'm just…" Victor tried to think of what he was. He was skinny, but that sounded terrible.

"Lanky?" Mary gave Victor a hopeful smile.

"Yes, lanky, thank you." Victor wanted to smile proudly, but he knew he'd muck it up, so instead Victor concentrated on the task at hand.

Artichokes, well…an artichoke; a big artichoke. A big artichoke that Victor would swear was trying to outstare him, and it was doing a pretty good job. Turing his eyes from the green monster Victor glanced around the table.

He had the biggest one.

"Well, just start right on in!" With Victoria's blessings everyone began to eat.

Hildegard and Victoria were somehow making boiled artichokes look like the most refined meal in the world. With pinkies out and small bites, they actually made it seem silly to use utensils and Victor chalked that up to that whole upper crust thing.

Mary seemed to be eating it, but at the same time analyzing it. She seemed to be figuring out how to make them herself just on the flavor and texture. Mary was someone that Victor was eternally grateful to meet; the kind young woman was just odd enough to feel like a part of the family. Victor almost grinned when the idea that Mary had a special bond with the vegetable crossed his mind.

Then there was Johnson. Dear Thomas Johnson, who could make anything he touched appear lice ridden, and smelling like it hadn't bathed in years. The all around handy man had been hired simply because he'd been the only person in a few miles of the house. Johnson was crude, but Victor found that he liked watching Johnson interacting with others, the key word being others. He was viciously ripping leaves off and Victor got the impression that he was trying to pretend it was his children, not his dinner.

Victor reached out, grabbed a leaf, and pulled it off. Dipping it in the nearby vinaigrette Victor found that he was fighting the urge to drop it and whimper. Instead he slowly raised the leaf to his mouth and forced himself to bite off the edible part. It even tasted like doom.

Victor wasn't paying attention to the conversation floating around the table, not that he was usually paying attention to too much at dinner. So when it came his way no one was surprised that Victor was lost.

"How is it?" Victoria prompted, as if letting him in on a big secret.

Victor smiled nervously at everyone before deciding that talking would be a wonderful idea. "It is just superb," he said with a wider smile.

Victoria made a small noise that Victor knew from experience meant she was so happy that she became embarrassed. Victor once again smiled at her and then it finally happened.

He felt uncontrollably itchy on his side. Victor reached over and gave it a good scratch. Then his arms felt the same way. Before getting a single scratch on them, Victor's whole body felt like it was on fire from the itching.

"Hey Vic, waz tha' on yer face?" Johnson was tilting his head one way and then the other.

Trying not to scratch or scream Victor looked at Johnson. "What is what on my face?"

"My bad," Johnson said, raising his hands in the air, "It's just your face-wait. What is _that_!"

"Victor," Mary started trying not to freak out, "yer breakin' out in hives."

Victor tried not to dash up the stairs and instead toyed with what he could say. 'Me in hives? Never!' or, 'Are you positive, I was wondering if I had.' or maybe, 'Of course I am!' None of those were good though.

Leaning back in his chair Victor very calmly said, "So I am."

The whole table, if possible, became even more silent.

"I'm getting the doctor," Hildegard said and quickly ran to give him a ring.

"Do you think that's necessary?" Victoria asked getting up and even more worried.

"Knowing Victor he's probably having a deathly allergic reaction to something."

While everyone hustled about Victor sat perfectly still. He was still itching painfully but knew that he shouldn't move an inch. The three women of the household were bustling about and talking in hushed whispers. They acted as if he were going to fall over dead at any moment. Johnson on the other hand had shrugged, eaten the rest of his appetizer, and then proceeded to ask if Victor wanted the rest of his. When Victor simply shook his head the carriage driver gleefully tore into Victor's. About halfway through his second helping the doctor had arrived to check on Victor.

Trying to smile Victor waved at Dr. Demtimo. "Hello doctor."

"Hello Mr. Van Dort," at this point Dr. Demtimo looked at the dinner table, "You didn't eat one of those…did you."

His smile slipped off completely. "Yes sir I did. Not a whole one. A good bit though."

"You do remember that you are allergic to artichokes…don't you?" The short doctor had disappeared into his bag, and Victor waited until he saw several tubes of cream to help him before answering.

"Yes sir I do." Victor slowly stood up to pay for the house visit.

"Then you will please refrain yourself from divulging into food items that you are allergic to. I don-would like to not have to see you for several years." After a pause he started up again. "For food allergies, I mean."

Victor knew full well that the good doctor really meant, 'I don't want to ever see you again in my life, is that clear?' Victor had figured out long ago that when it came to him, not even the huge bill would remind the doctor why he should want to see him again.

"Yes sir, I will have more willpower next time." Victor quickly shoved the bills into the doctor's hand.

"That is very good to hear, but I need you to promise not to eat anymore artichokes," Dr. Demtimo sighed while heading to the front door.

Victor followed with the creams at a trot and quickly said, "I promise you I shall not eat anymore artichokes."

Johnson was snickering, Mary and Hildegard looked almost amused, and Victoria looked petrified.

"I do hope you remember how to apply those?" Dr. Demtimo asked one foot out the door.

"Yes sir I do," Victor waved the creams in the air slightly as if to drive home the point.

"Try and not seriously injure yourself in the next several months, alright." The doctor pleaded as he quickly stepped most of the way through the door.

Victor smiled at the head that was still in the house. "I will try not to."

"Good."

With that the door slammed shut in Victor's face and he slowly turned around. "I'm just going to…" Victor pointed up the stairs. "Just carry on with out me."

And with that Victor dashed up the stairs and out of sight.


End file.
